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Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Learning to pace yourself

I feel if one word could describe me it would be a busy body. I always have to be doing something. My mind is always racing about whats next, looming dead lines and what tomorrow is going to bring. At some point in your life that gets weary and either your body gives up or your mind does. This did not become apparent to me until I had kids. Before that, all I had to do was worry about myself. Now I have to bring two little people along with me. That gets exhausting quickly. The whole getting ready, packing up the car, making bathroom stops, gas stops... all those little side errands to get where your going takes even longer than it did when you were by yourself. It took a long time for me to realize it. While my body kept up with me, my mind didn't. It got to the point where my life felt like one hectic blur after another, trying to keep up with friends, go shopping, doing someone a favor, running errands, doctors appointments, go see this and go see that.

After having my second baby I finally said to myself, "No. It's okay to say no."

It's okay to say no to playing at the park: This in no way makes you a bad mom. Kids need to hear "no" anyways. After working a 12 hour shift the day before, staying up late to do homework and finish up volunteer work for my daughter's school.... well I think the play set in the back yard is good enough right now. 
It's okay to say no to picking up a shift at work: Yes you know how it feels to work short and it sucks. But that doesn't mean it falls on you to pick up every empty shift. Your work place has survived thus far before you worked there and it will continue to be there after your regularly scheduled shift.
It's okay to say no to family: Yes, you want to do everything in your power to help out but sometimes it's not in your schedule. If someone needs help moving and it doesn't work out for your schedule, suggest another time. If that's the only day they have to move, well that sucks for them. There are emergent times when you should drop everything to help but some family members will have you believe that every time is an emergency. Take it with a grain of salt and move on. They will be okay.
It's okay not to craft: Yes, you heard it. I love doing crafty stuff and crocheting blankets is by far what I'm best at. I usually crochet when I sit down and watch some T.V. but there came a point where I didn't even have time to do that. So as flattering as it was to be asked to make a blanket for someone, I had to respectfully decline.
It IS okay to take a moment for yourself: I found whether is was just going to lay outside in the sunshine, going for a walk or reading a book; taking a little time to yourself helps you regroup. Your brain needs a break and some slow down time, not giving it that can make you go cray.
My New Bottom Line:
If it takes too much time away from my husband and children, I just say no.

8 comments:

  1. True that! I agree! I am also a nurse, so I COMPLETELY understand you! I also crochet in my spare time, so thats funny ;-P You are right, sometimes you need to prioritize on whats important and focus first on your family and husband/kids!

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    1. Thank you for you comment! There was a time in my life where I had to work 70 hrs a week because of how much debt we were in but after I had gotten it paid off, I still worked the same amount of crazy hours. I was so used to saying yes. My family was falling apart and I knew it was because I had taken on too much. Hard lesson to learn.

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  2. Love this! It's so important to know your limits and to put yourself first sometimes! A good reminder for me!

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    1. It's amazing how much better you feel after taking some alone time.

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  3. I have finally learned to say no. It still is very hard for me and I feel so much guilt. But we have to start doing whats best for us at times to be better for our families.

    Kaitlyn

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    1. I felt like I was missing out on my kids because I was trying to take care of everyone. In the end, it's your kids that count. I do still feel guilt as well tho.

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  4. Good for you for prioritizing your family. Personally, I don't have any trouble saying "no". LOL

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    1. Oh I'm getting better at saying "no". I have that "fix everything" personality but I need to cut some of that shit out.

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